240sux

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 15:04:03 GMT

I always thought that I'd be more excited about turning 21... but none of the people that I'd want to go out and drink with are 21. What. The. Fuck.

Wed, 24 Oct 2007 00:52:33 GMT

Oh Jesus H. Christ on his fucking throne, I haven't updated in FOREVER!!!!

-Still have the job at Unisys. Making roughly 13/hr, but getting a (major) raise here in two months.

-Have a different car than last time. The truck is now defunct until I get the urge to replace the dizzy... or until I strip it out and sell it for scrap... OH! I could also put a 350 small block in it, drop it to the ground and then drag race it. But, you know, I've gotta live out here in the country for a little bit longer before I do that.

-The car is a Kia Sephia. It runs. It's not pretty and it's a shitty, shitty, shitty econobox. It's good for getting groceries and driving drunk in.

-I'm uh, single, I suppose. Not exactly interested in a relationship, which is pretty weird for me. I'm actually enjoying my situation, I get to meet a lot of people and not have someone breathing down my neck constantly. (No fingers)

-My mom's really, really sick. She took out extra life insurance... makes me pretty antsy. I don't know what to make of the situation, but I'll deal with it when it comes up.

-I'm buying a 300zx. Maybe. We'll see, the guy really wants too much for it.

-Working on going to school. Changed my mind about ITT Tech, fucking scam artists. I spent one day in that place and realized what a crock it is. Gonna call up IVY Tech and do the community college thing for a bit.

-I'm taking Muay Thai lessons. i r teh kickboxer manz

That's about it. Sorry for the long post, but it's been forever. Enjoy... and everyone fucking get ahold of me. I haven't talked to a lot of you in ages and while it's nice to have a nice group of new, close friends, I miss the old ones sometimes.

Tue, 22 May 2007 10:47:47 GMT

1 day 'til the rest of my life.

Under paid, under appreciated, under estimated and over hyped.

Suck it, bitches :p

My inspirational music:

Maroon 5 -- Makes Me Wonder

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVIgOBVO5gA

I wake up with blood-shot eyes
Struggled to memorize
The way it felt between your thighs
Pleasure that made you cry
Feels so good to be bad
Not worth the aftermath, after that
After that
Try to get you back

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try
(Yeah)
So this is goodbye

God damn my spinning head
Decisions that made my bed
Now I must lay in it
And deal with things I left unsaid
I want to dive into you
Forget what you're going through
I get behind, make your move
Forget about the truth

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye

I've been here before
One day I'll wake up
And it won't hurt anymore
You caught me in a lie
I have no alibi
The words you say don't have a meaning
Cause

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you
And I...and so this is goodbye

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye

Myspace is gay

Sat, 19 May 2007 19:35:32 GMT

Yeah... Myspace and Facebook are both pretty lame. Back to my roots. Back to getting some thoughts out of my head, through my fingers and into a server someplace to rot away until the platters crack.

Recent events:

- Allyson and I broke up. Probably for the better... I took her for granted, treated her like shit and was generally a sneaky fuck during the entire relationship. I love her to death... I'd die for her... but I'm too much of a fucking dick to be with her.

- I just got a new job. 12.50/hr. Not too bad... they want me there on an 18 month contract, so I guess that's job security.

- I'm TRYING to fucking go to college... but everyone that I thought would be there for me when I needed them either can't be, or won't be. So fuck them. I've only got myself to lean on and that will be good enough. I'm "Chris Fucking Judy".

- I've refocused on what I want out of my life at the moment. I'm done worrying about the far future. I'm done worrying about relationships. This brings us to...

Current Goals:

1. Get a new vroom vroom car. Get it running reliably.
2. Move the fuck out of my mom's house. I mean, seriously... I'm 20 years old.
3. Spend all my extra money on my car and get serious about this hobby of mine
4. SORT MY FUCKING LIFE OUT MATE

All of these, of course, are only a matter of time and money. Both of which I'm going to have plenty of here soon. Sweet.

Also. Oh Sh*t

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 17:50:43 GMT

So I went and got a tattoo yesterday. It's a bright green star with black outline and a bit of shading on the edges (because I squirmed so much). I'll have pictures up later... it's on my hip. It hurt. Bad. I whined like a bitch the entire time. And it still hurts. And some of the color didn't stick. Blah.

Yay free touch-ups. Boo me being a bitch.

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 23:34:27 GMT

I'm a permanent reminder of a temporary feeling.

'the more we talked,
the more confused we became.

He loved me. He loved her.
He loved her first.
He loved me now.

I loved him. I hated her.
I hated him for loving her.
I loved him for loving her still.

He wanted me. He needed me.
He needed more to go to her, let her
know he loved her still.

I wanted him. I needed him.
i wanted him to forget her, needed
more to let him tell her he loved her'

My mom has a bloodclot and might die! BOO LIFE! HURRAY BEER!

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 11:51:15 GMT

Alright, so I FINALLY fucking manned up and decided to get this GED thing over and done with, so that I can get other things going for me. This should be fun. Saturday, 9am-6pm. Chris will show that he has more than a lonely brain cell.

Rest of my life is in OMGWTFBBQ mode.

1000 miles a minute, I'm in 4th gear with 3k rpms to go, and I've got my eyes closed on a busy highway.

This can only end in disaster.

/emo

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 03:03:25 GMT

This isn't highschool.

Tue, 30 May 2006 21:27:47 GMT

I am Chris. Fixer of things and mower of lawns.

Now imma hit this blunt.

Mon, 29 May 2006 04:00:19 GMT

This has been a pretty neat weekend.

I'm suffering from lack of sleep, and I might be a bit out of it, but I'd say I'm pretty happy right now. I've got Erica waiting at home for me to come home and snuggle up to, then pass out. She's been down since Thursday. Great few nights, couple of good days.

I'm really secure in the fact that I love Erica. I can't wait for shit to really get rolling for us. One more year.

Oh, before I forget, my tire fucking blew out on the highway on the way to work. Fun stuff... it didn't go entirely flat, though... so I drove with it the entire way to work. Was funny. Get to change it in the morning.

Awesome Weekend

Wed, 17 May 2006 02:11:19 GMT

This weekend was Erica's birthday. Yay Erica :p

Got to spend the whole weekend up there with her and her family... go to use some sick time and escape work for a little bit. Actually have 5 days off in a row now... go back on Thursday morning/Wednesday night.

Just really had an awesome and wonderful time while I was up there... got treated to a few free meals, got to lay around and watch a movie, snuggle up... spend most of the weekend riding in Erica's car. Had an icecream cake melt in my lap because we took a wrong turn. Fun stuff.

Oh, and I stretched out my ears with some really super comfortable silicone earrings... here, have some crappy webcam pics of them:

Sun, 07 May 2006 21:35:22 GMT

I'm... dissapointed in the way certain things in my life are shaping up right now. Namely advancement in my chosen profession.

I've got this great opportunity set infront of me to get some rather important certification... after said certs, I can get a decent-to-good job... then head onto college or something like it. Get a degree. Do something with my life.

But, as always, I'm held back by a past decision. I'm such a fucking retard for dropping out of high school...

I had to answer what, I think, was the most humiliating question in my life today... "So I see here that you're not a high school graduate... do you have a GED? Are you still in school?" My answer, of course, was no to both. I felt so ashamed... I felt like a loser.

I've become what I hated... I hate myself. I can't even sleep right now after that fucking phone call.

I've got to wait some shit out... get my ducks in a row. Put some things on the back burner and bring a few to the front. Here in the next few months I'm going to have to give up some things that I consider important to me... but, they'll pay off. I've got to get my shit together. For real this time.

I won't step back from the ledge next time.

/emo

Tue, 02 May 2006 21:10:36 GMT

New LJ. Post to be friended thanks.